How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? - Juans upon a time
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.😐
"what do you do with your free time" "I stalk" "really i enjoy walks in the park going to the movies and having out with friends" "I know"
why is it annoying to eat by basket ball players? because they dribble all the time.
Parent:Have you seen your sister? Son:No, the last time i seen her when we playing hide n seek.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without there mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I relise, that I can see all there face!
True story by the way
I dont trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did a African food episode... it was a short episode to bad he couldn’t find any
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
I read to deaf kids in my spare time
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
edward scissor hands: why is it that every time i touch someone they get ofended? kids: cause your a physco path
Enough of the jokes. It's time Togo back home. (hah I wanna cry)
Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week
what's the best time to hang out with an indian? when your nose is clogged.
