I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: *tooth hurty* Dad: all right
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time i eat at popeyes 😑
how many times can you subtract ten from one thousand
one after that your subtracting ten from 990
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
my teacher: time can't count. me: every second counts. my teacher: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Hey gwen next time youre online can you go to son jokes i commented back to you and portory
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
"Wakanda Forever" didn't last forever.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
