Thought jokes

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Yo mama so stupid, she joined the Squid Game as a sea life lover because she thought it was a game of whoever catches the most octopuses wins.

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

That's it, it wasn't a joke.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"