Thought Jokes

“Knock Knock”

“Who’s there”

“9/11”

“9/11 Who?”

“i thought you’d never forget...”

as i am from south carolina i just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about

them slaves taking credit for everything

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Teacher: what comes after C? Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4! Teacher: umm ok... but still what comes after A? Me: AK47!!! Teacher thought: oh hell na Teacher: what comes after x? Me: xplosin 1 sec later bomb goes off idk

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!

A clown held a door open for me, I thought it was a nice jester

paper.

aww c'mon! i thought my joke made the Cut!

Why did the orphan cross the street because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

Why did the stoner cross the road? He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!