Think Jokes

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

Like if you think rape jokes are funny

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”

When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom and you think your in the clear but the Down syndrome kid says “goodbye”

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time

Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".

A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...

<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*

Now 14y.o. : Oh...

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.