Think Jokes

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

SO IM A COW GUESS WHAT MY DAD THINKS OF THAT? HE SAYS IM A LOOOOSMER

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"... But she did.

Bf:what do you think about our love?

Gf:count the stars in the sky

Bf:aww its infinity

Gf:nope just a waste of time

god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity... She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a pinata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

Like if you think rape jokes are funny

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”