Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
What do u call a blind dinosaur? *do-u-think-he-saur-us*
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : *raises hand* Teacher : ... The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
why were 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9 then why was 10 affraid? it was between 9/11.
what do u think was going thru the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? floor 44 💀💀
A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds
Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Some people think incest jokes are funny. I just think it's all relative.
What were the terroist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it we can’t go under it we'll have to go through it
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan? Me neither. It all came crashing down.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus
When you suffer from depression and Somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: my goodness, what an idea! why didn't i think of this before
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
