Think jokes

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.