Think jokes

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.