Thing jokes
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.