Thing jokes
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.