Thing jokes
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
What is the best thing about 28 year olds? There are 20 of them!
Not a joke; just a statement:
Everything on here is unoriginal! 😂 But just because every word on here is unoriginal, it doesn’t change the way we feel. Our feelings are the only thing that is original because our feelings are our own. Even though others have the same or similar feelings! Our feelings are still our own. And sharing those feelings with words spoken from another just means we are NOT ALONE in our feelings.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
So dark.
Many jokes about orphans.
God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.