Thing jokes
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slicker hair back she looks 15.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.