They jokes
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why does this always happen to me...
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."