They jokes
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
Why does this always happen to me...
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.