They jokes
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know home base.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can’t hit a home run.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why can't Indians play baseball? Because every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.