They jokes
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go home :)