They jokes
All of these are funny. Why are they the "worst jokes ever" lol?
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their way home.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.