They jokes
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
they didnt understand me
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?