They jokes
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
Memes
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?