They jokes
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.