They jokes

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

Why don’t orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”

Why do orphans love playing tennis?

Because it’s the only love they get.

Why is the UK bad at chess?

Because they have no queen.

Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.

Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

A: Because they lost two of their towers.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.

Why can orphans not play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.

Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?

So they can spell "home."

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?

Because I know they haven't.

What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

What's the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.