They jokes

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

Why do orphans love getting r@ped?

Because they want to know what love feels like.

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?

A: They get their shit packed the night before.

I give props to pedophiles.

They always go slow in the school zones.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.

Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.

They never get old.

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!

Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.