They jokes
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."