They jokes
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find a way home.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!