They jokes
What happens when two walls meet?
They are cornered.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't run home.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
