They jokes
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
But it's true (i made this meme)
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
It is the only place where they can call a father.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find a way home.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.