They jokes
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
Memes
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.