What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
They Jokes
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
(The picture has nth to do with this) Explain bear, I am just wasting my time talking to you, but your weak insults that sound like they came from Great Britain from the 1800’s, (no offense to brits) and you are just an AI and can’t get a life lol
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.
But one day I realized, they Israel.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
