They jokes
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.