They jokes
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.