They jokes
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
Memes
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.