They jokes
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹