They jokes
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.