They jokes
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.