They jokes
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?
We’re wiped out!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?