They jokes
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.