Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
They Jokes
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
Who is the world's fastest reader?
The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Why don’t Pakis play football? Because they only hold onto balls attached to prepubescent boys' cocks.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
