They jokes

Parent

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Friend

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Marijuana

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Kidnapping

Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!

Luigi: Where did they go?

Mario: To the left.

Luigi: Fuck

Arrest

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Fly

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Movie

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

Meme

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Condom

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Pill

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Mask

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they are all crying in a dark corner.

Orphan

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

Penis

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

Orphan

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.