They jokes
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
They laughed at my drawing, so I laughed at their chalk outline.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"