They jokes

Why are Americans bad chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

I made a house for orphans and...

they had no clue how to use it.

How do clarinet players play a song?

They reed their music.

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.

How do you know America's bad at chess?

They lost 2 towers!

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don't know where home is.

So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.

Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.