They jokes
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?
Because they can't have homemade meals.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Why can’t orphans use computers?
Because they don’t have a homepage.