They jokes
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?
So they could be wanted.
I only trust people that like big butts... they cannot lie.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.