They jokes
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
Memes
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."