They jokes
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
. . .
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.