They jokes
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.