Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
They Jokes
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Whatβs similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
