They jokes
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Memes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.