Thereness jokes

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, there is no electricity.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?

To the retail store.

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.

How do cows get their milk? The moo market.

Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?

A. There was a daycare on the other side.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?

Not Johnny.

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “U” in cunt.

Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.