Thereness jokes
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ahoy Mateys.
Ahoy Mateys who?
Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?