Thereness jokes
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"