friend:stop w the sh jokes there not funny me: its not that deep. ill cut it out
My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now
Parents: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage, Kid: why? Parents: so you don't get bored there
so there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs that said hey sir i've never been fucked before will you do the honors and fuck me, so I threw her in the ocean and said well your fucked now.
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers...
It crashed in a cemetery
They recovered 500 bodies
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".
There was a plane crash the pilots names where Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow
Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind
Knock knock Who’s there? Not sally
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger licken' good!
Son:DAD DAD OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!
Dad:WHATS WRONG ARE YOU OK?!
SOn:MIA ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE ON FEBRUARY 30th
Dad:Cas theres no february 30th?
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms. Knock knock, Who’s there? Not lil Susie
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
