Thereness jokes
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Charlie.
Charlie who?
Charlie Brown! Good grief!
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?