Thereness jokes

Orphan

  • There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

    Ninja

  • This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

    Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

    Hospital

  • So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

    It worked really well in my local hospital.

    Jenga

  • You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

    Suicide

  • When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

    Innuendo

  • I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

    Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

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  • School

  • In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

    Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

    Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

    Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

    The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

    The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

    The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

    "Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

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  • Reaction

  • There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.