Theory jokes
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.