Theory jokes
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
3+3=****
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Stephen Hawking died.
Why is Earth flat?
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.