Theory jokes
New degree plans announced by Cornell University:
- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.
- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.
- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.