Theory jokes
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Yo, hairline goes farther back than the Big Bang theory!
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"