A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen. Just how low can you get.
orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be dissapointed
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser. The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore
I was given a invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney. Thats why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY
Why was the emo person dead inside? Because I stole their insides.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.
To the guy who in a wheel chair who stole my camoflauge coat u can hide bu you can run
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Someone threatened to break into my house but I am in a wheelchair, I said sure and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
why did the orphan rob a bank. to be wanted
Why did the ophan rob the bank: Because he/she wanted to be wanted
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid what is he going to do for his self stand up
I was studying in Turin and my professor told me I had to use PENS only. I looked in my bag for pens and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you Penaldo!
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway
Why cant Orphans steal bases? Because they cant find home.
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
