That jokes
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."