That jokes
Your hairline is so far back that the United States got a front row seat!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
Memes
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.