That jokes

Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What picture is that?

What do you call an animal that smells?

A smelly-phant.

That joke is really not funny.

There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

Why did Sellwood get named?

It is made of wood that got sold.