That jokes

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

There are multiple. That’s the joke.

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

God bless the shooting that happened.

That's wheely (really) sad.

What do you call grass that grows in space?

Astro-turf.

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!

How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.