That jokes

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.

Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"

Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"

I know that my jokes are never punny but...

What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?

He heard that little boy's pants were half off.

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.