That jokes

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.

Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.

Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.

Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.

What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.

That was an egg-cellent joke!

Dad: Hey, have you seen that new movie, "Constipation"?

Son: No.

Dad: It hasn't come out yet.

This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?

Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!

You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?

Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.

You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

What is a redneck virgin?

A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."