That jokes

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

What is an owl that wears armor?

Prince, do you love that girl Gwen more than me? Remember when you were at my house?

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?

A cocksucker.

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?

I wake up and I find myself on the floor.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?

What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!